Eliminating the Working Mom Guilt!
I write this blog as I’m away from my daughter, away from my family, taking care of business as “mommy” has always done. This week I’m traveling for work, I kissed my daughter goodnight last night & said the words that I always say…”good night, sleep tight, see you in the morning light.” I never want her to fear or worry that I’m leaving. We try to keep things consistent, I do talk about my trips to her & how much I’ll miss her & how much I love her, but bedtime is always the same regardless of where I’ll be when she wakes up. C travels as much as I do, so balancing all we do is sometimes tough, but we make it work.
I often read articles that compare the working mom to the stay at home mom. For some families it’s a conscious choice, for others it’s a necessity for both parents to work. If you are a working mom, I’m sure you’ve felt the guilt before…I have to leave my child with a caregiver & I’m unsure about this decision or I flat out don’t want to. I’ve personally, made a conscious decision to continue my career. Before meeting C, I was “moving up the corporate ladder.” I had a career in consulting, was traveling a ton & making a name for myself. When we got married, I knew that I had to slow down especially if we wanted to start a family & I slowed down temporarily, took a role with one of my former clients & made a name for myself there. I have since moved into a Director level role & am enjoying every moment of it. So here are a few reasons why I rarely ever experience the “working mom” guilt…
- We reduce (maybe almost eliminate) gender roles – Little Miss M will see her daddy washing dishes, doing laundry, cooking dinner & she’ll also see her mommy helping with things around the house, doing yard working & helping with household repairs. She’ll understand that we are BOTH perfectly capable of contributing to all activities around the home and we will empower her to do the same.
- Balance – I am showing Little Miss M that it’s completely possible for her to balance a career, a husband and a family all at the same time. Do I sometimes struggle with this balance myself? Yep and there are times that I never feel like I have it 100% right, BUT when I walk in the door from a trip and her little face lights up I KNOW I’m doing the right thing. Before C and I met, I had a career & while it would have been an option for me to stay home with Little Miss M it didn’t make any sense. I would have been giving up so much that I had worked so hard to establish, plus I really do enjoy my work.
- Independence – I am showing Little Miss M that she can create her own story, her own financial and personal independence. Also she will learn to “fend for herself” in many scenarios as she gets older such as the ability to make her own meals and do her own laundry. I think these are all very important pieces of growing up – my mom taught my sister and me at a very early age how to do our laundry and make small meals for ourselves. She put the responsibiltiy of laundry on us because we wanted to change outfits 4-5 times a day & when we had to do our own laundry we stopped. Taught us a valuable lesson in my opinion.
- Happiness – Little Miss M will see that her mom finds happiness in so many different ways. When I am happy, I am better able to focus my time with her on playing, silliness and helping her learn. When I am happy, my happiness will rub off on C and Little Miss M creating a positive and loving environment for us as a family. Not to say that my happiness is the only one that matters, but it definitely plays a large part in the overall household happiness.